Thank you, friends

~


Things got worse before they got better. But they ultimately got better.
My symptoms got bad enough for me to call me doctor whom I avoid at all possible costs. He instructed me to "get my ass in the hospital, immediately." He didn't mention the rest of me, that's almost funny, given the circumstances. Anyway, since we still don't have our Medicaid cards, this was not an option. He told me to get on the scale. Huh? Well, I have lost 18 lbs. since my last infusion, on 1/21. Not that I didn't need to lose them, I have about 50 more to go, really, but that's pretty quick.
My goal for today was to do what Heather knows how to do after battling this enemy for 11 years. And that is to 'get it to stop'. My other goal was to 'bring my husband around'. I didn't need his help, his doting on me, his errand-running, I simply needed to know he was 'there'.
I had left him a voice mail while he was at Reilly's school. And I was right - his anger had abated while taking pride in his daughter.
When he got home, his attitude had completely changed. I told him what the doc said, and what my plan was, and I just needed to get it under control, and no I am not' faking' it, and 'yes' I absolutely want to take Jake to his dance tonight, but I have to get this to 'stop', because now I'm bleeding, too.

He asked me what I needed from him. I said, I don't need a single thing but your support. That's all I need right now.

He never apologized with words, but he apologized with his actions. He stayed around the house for awhile, and kept checking on me in the bedroom. Then he came in and asked if I would be okay while he went and helped his neighbor get his fridge installed. And I said yes, I was okay. And he said, (which he stopped saying a LONG time ago), "I have my phone with me if you need for me anything."

Finally, at about 2:15, I got it 'stopped'. So I called him and told him I was feeling much better, and when the kids got home, I would ask Reilly to go to Publix with me, as she's a great helper, and then I would take Jake to the dance.

And he said, "I don't' think you should do that, I think it's too much for you, and if you need me to, I'll take Jake to the dance."

Well, clearly someone's prayers were heard today, because he came back to being Billy, to being the husband and father he's supposed to be.

I might skip the store, but I'm going to the dance.

I just got the energy to put a load of laundry in.

Thank you for your prayers.

All of you.

~