Wednesday, November 11, 2009



Having that on the precipice of a nervous breakdown feeling again.

Nothing is 'wrong'.

We are in no worse a situation than we were yesterday. In fact, things are looking 'up' for hubby's new venture.

So I have no concrete reasoning as to 'why' I feel this way.

But my guts are in my throat.

I just want to be left alone.

And if I hear "MOMMY!" one more time, I might just lose it.

I keep having very quick flashbacks to the ugliness of 30 years ago.

As well as the ugliness of the evilness of a couple of years ago.

And then the flashbacks start all over again, like a constant, unending roll of film.


Drugs are not the issue.

I don't take those kind anymore.

Haven't in many months.

I don't know who these demons are who are taunting me.

I don't know what they want.

I wish they would just tell me.

Then perhaps I could give them what they want, so they will leave me alone, before I fall off the precipice.


  1. Shoot, I had to look up 'precipice' before I could respond. HA!

    We are in the same jobless boat... hubby's been out of work for 7, 8 weeks maybe (I forget). I freaked out the first week or two, definitely had that lump in my throat, but then I decided to jump on board with the 'FAVOR' train. God's FAVOR. I know everything is going to be fine 'cause I have God, and God is everything.

    As for the other stuff you are dealing with, I can't relate to any of that, but I know you are faithful. Give the demons nothing. Keep God close.

    You are in my prayers.

  2. Heather, I just wanted to share something with you. I was reading Kelly Stamps earlier this week, I think her blog is KellysKornerBlog or something like that. Anyway, she is on a mission trip with Compassion International this week and she was saying that before she left she felt Satan really at work in her life. He was creating all sort of fear, uncertainty and doubt. She realized that meant that God must have something AWESOME in store for her if Satan was going to try and work that hard against her. Think on that. It certainly changed the way I look at some things. You're in my prayers.