Having that on the precipice of a nervous breakdown feeling again.
Nothing is 'wrong'.
We are in no worse a situation than we were yesterday. In fact, things are looking 'up' for hubby's new venture.
So I have no concrete reasoning as to 'why' I feel this way.
But my guts are in my throat.
I just want to be left alone.
And if I hear "MOMMY!" one more time, I might just lose it.
I keep having very quick flashbacks to the ugliness of 30 years ago.
As well as the ugliness of the evilness of a couple of years ago.
And then the flashbacks start all over again, like a constant, unending roll of film.
Drugs are not the issue.
I don't take those kind anymore.
Haven't in many months.
I don't know who these demons are who are taunting me.
I don't know what they want.
I wish they would just tell me.
Then perhaps I could give them what they want, so they will leave me alone, before I fall off the precipice.