Wednesday, December 16, 2009



We prefer Gilette.

Mach 3 actually.

And why are the blades so damn expensive, can you tell me?

Cuz the reason we prefer Mach 3 is because they are cheaper than Fusion.

Why am I talking about razor blade preferences, you ask?

No, I am not preparing to slice my wrists vertically, or to institute bleeding from any part of my body, thank you.


It's my mouth.

My mouth, my tongue, my gums, the top of my mouth, the outside corners of my mouth, under my tongue, the walls of my mouth.

Did I grind up some razor blades and eat them for supper?

Are you sure?

Well, it feels like I did.

And the occasional rampant bleeding looks like I did.

And did you know your taste buds can just fall right off?

They look like mushrooms.

I wonder how many I started with, versus how many I have left?

They turn white.

They hurt like HELL.

Then they fall right off.

Or they were shaved off when I was chewing the razor blades.


My mouth is in complete agony.

It feels better when I drink warm coffee though.

But I've been drinking so much coffee that gosh, it's 124 am and I am still wide awake.

Anyone who knows me in real life, knows that I have never been a coffee drinker, and also knows that I have never been a night crawler.

Blame my mouth.

And the razor blades.

One doctor and one nurse say it's the crohn's. I think it is. For goodness sake, what the hell else could it be? Besides that, I've been diagnosed with it from Stem to Stern. And the sores look like the same sores I have in my stomach and gut. The only reason I present this argument is because my favorite doctor - Doctor Fucking Hank , the alleged Crohn's GURU, says it's not Crohn's it's some sort of drug interaction. To which the other doctor and HIS nurse say, then why does it feel better when you drink coffee? And why does it NOT FEEL better when you take Atarax?




Gosh I'm sick of diagnosing myself!

So now, I guess we wait until the next treatment on 12/29 and see if my mouth results in any improvement. If it does, I'm right. If it doesn't, UGH.

Please pray that we get relief either before then, or on 12/29. I mean, my mouth Really REALLY REALLY hurts. The sores and ulcers are EVERYWHERE within the mouth.

If you were here, I could show you. But I'm not putting a picture of my sick and ulcerated mouth on the web for all the world to see.

Not today.

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