~
So.
It's been a couple of weeks.
I'm not so angry any more.
I went from:
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT?
meaning, of course, WHAT THE HELL???? (or worse, but I'm trying to cut back on the vulgarities, just because, well, I dunno)
to:
WHY?
meaning, WHY THE HELL? (or, of course, worse).
to:
HOW?
meaning, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO THIS?
meaning, HOW CAN I PHYSICALLY DO THIS?
meaning, HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED, AND HOW I AM I GOING TO DO THIS WHEN I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF BED MORE THAN SOME DAYS AND I CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THE MOST BASIC OF TASKS LET ALONE REALLY TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY ALREADY TWO KIDS HOW THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO THIS?
And please don't tell me with God's help.
I mean, yeah, maybe.
But PHYSICALLY?
Not.
I have no idea HOW I am going to do this.
NO clue.
Not one.
~
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Rojo, I just saw this stuff a couple of days ago. I'm honestly having trouble processing it. I can't imagine the trouble you must be having. Call me if you need someone else to talk to. Kim and I send our love.
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So God, I really don't undestand this. Really, I'm a pastor and I just don't get this. Yeah, Jesus, I know you said that in this world we'd have trouble. That is probably one fo your more overlooked promises. The promise of troulbe. And Heather and Billy have had trouble - more than just about anybody I know - and frankly you've given me a pretty good statistical sample of people with trouble. And I really don't understand why it rains on one more than another. Jesus, frankly, you were pretty clever when someone asked you about that. You only said that it had nothing to do with sin or righteousness. And honestly God, I'm not sure what to pary. But Jesus, I know the rest of that quote. You said, "In this world you will have trouble, but fear not, I have overcome the world." Okay, having overcome the world, I pray for Heather, Billy, and their two awesome kids that they would be given the gift of freedom from fear, and courage that passes all understanding, and that you, Lord Jesus, would overcome the trouble they have in this world.
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